No means no has been one of the key mantras of women for decades in the United States, birthed as more and more rapes came to the public surface. These rapes occurred because nowas not given power. This phrase became a movement that has given women a voice against predators and instills confidence in that voice. This phrase gave women power in no.
Despite the powerful No Means No campaign, saying no has been one of the most difficult struggles I’ve had in life. Truthfully, I don’t believe I’m alone in this. From childhood, we’re trained that no is not an acceptable option. Parents expected us to say yes when we were told to do something. Our teachers handed out consequences in the form of a bad report card when we said no to their instruction. Friends deserted us when we said no to their requests. No is perceived as negative and unwanted. In fact, we typically have a difficult time when others tell us no. We feel disrespected, unimportant, disheartened, angry, rejected.
Our society has placed a negative stigma on no, but it’s not accurate. There is just as much hope and potential with no as there is with yes. To the untrained eye, no and yes appear to be opposites, but for those who choose to look deeper, no and yes are so closely related they can be interchanged to mean the same thing in proper context. There, I said it! Saying no is just like saying yes! It’s all about perspective.
Saying no to that coworker who offers you a delectable, calorie-filled chocolate chip cookie can be the same as saying yes to promoting your health. Saying no to mindlessly watching television for hours every night can be the same as saying yes to self-improvement. Saying no to maxing out your credit card on shoes can be the same as saying yes to conserving your credit to buy a house.
By no means am I insinuating what you should or should not be saying no to. The truth is I’m still mastering the art of saying no! This fresh perspective has served me well as I change old mentalities and strive toward greater goals and purpose. When I say yes to any goal (large or small), my yes receives power every time I say no to choices that are not aligned with me achieving that goal. Your no is your yes’s power source.
As we each are saying YES to transforming into a new me, we must give power to that YES by saying NO to the old and anything contrary to who we were made to be.
Get ready to embrace “A NEW ME: Transparently, Abundantly."
"When Dr. E asked me to serve as a blog contributor for the A New Me with Dr. E Blog, I wanted to immediately scream YES, but I had to pause and seek God about the decision. As I prayed, thoughts came flooding into my mind like: She’s reaching women with a message that nearly perfectly aligns with my passion. My passion is to see others set free to live abundantly in their purpose, in their truest selves, as I press toward the same goal. Combine these thoughts with the fact I know God gave me a unique ability to write and communicate, and the choice was obvious. My heart and drive is for you! Much gratitude to you, Dr. E! Thank you for this opportunity and taking the time to journey with us!" - Adrienne Pluss
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