WHY I DON’T “NETFLIX AND CHILL”
I'm so glad to have connected with this beautiful young lady, Videllia Davis. She loves sharing her powerful message to other women to know their worth and value in Christ. Before she shares her powerful message, we want to welcome her to our A NEW ME Blog Contributor Team and get to know her a little better.
Videllia (pronounced Vie-dell-yah) was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas and is a graduate from The University of Texas at Austin. She graduated in 2011 with her Bachelor in Business Administration and a Master in Professional Accounting. She current resides in Dallas, Texas working as a Certified Public Accountant. When not meeting the demands of her corporate clients, Videllia enjoys taking dance classes and writing for her blog/book. She is a faithful member of the Concord Missionary Baptist Church and is passionate about helping all people reach their fullest potential in Christ.
Her mission is to use her words to skillfully encourage women to live life exposed - being comfortable in their perfect imperfections, flawed and unashamed.
WHY I DON'T "NETFLIX AND CHILL"
“My name is Videllia and I am a recovering Netflix and chill addict.” Okay, I’m not really an addict but I have done it before on a couple of occasions and during the times that I did it, I actually enjoyed it. I mean, let’s be honest. It felt nice to lay on the couch and cuddle with someone, if even for a moment.
So yes, I have done the Netflix and chill thing before. However, as I’ve started taking time this year to work on me, I realized that I am a woman worth more than that. No, fellas, I’m not saying you have to spend an arm and a leg to get at me (though the Bible does say I am worth more than rubies (Prov 3:15) so don’t you forget that lol). What I am saying is that because I now know and realize my worth, I know that I’m a woman who deserves effort. I deserve courtship. I deserve a man who is intentional about his feelings and where he sees “this” going. I deserve more than a drive by date where you get to enjoy spending those intimate moments with me and then you leave to go spend the same (if not more) intimate moments with someone else. I deserve more than what you would offer some basic chick because I’m not basic. *Shrugs*
Ladies, when you finally wake up and realize your worth for yourself, you will discover that the things that used to appeal to you no longer live up to your standards. Take time to pause and reflect as to why you are allowing men certain access to your home, your bed, intimate parts of your body and whatever else you have done during your own Netflix and chill sessions. Are you finding that you are so desperate for attention that you’re settling for a drive-by date? Are you discovering that you’re so insecure with your own self, that you prefer dark, quiet, inside dates instead of going out to face the world? Have you allowed a man to dictate the role you will have in his life and you find that you’re his standing Monday night appointment instead of a woman he’s actually pursuing? Are you now realizing that in order to get respect from a man you have to act accordingly?
If any of the above answers are “yes” then it’s time for you to demand the level of respect that a woman of your caliber deserves!! Now that I’m getting my feet back wet in the dating market, I demand my respect right off the back. I often find that I’ll meet guys whose idea of a date is them picking up a movie and coming to my house. Yes, even for the first date! I always respond to them kindly and say, no thank you, I do not allow men to come to my house until I have gotten to know them and establish something with them. I usually then find that the man is shocked by my response. Most would think that these men would walk away to go find the next girl who will easily allow that to happen but I’ve discovered that these men have actually respected my decision and comment on the fact that I’m different from most other women. In fact, one guy even told me, “I realize that I can’t approach you how I approach most women. I see that you’re different. So I know I have to approach you in the right way.”
You’re darn right you have to approach me the right way buddy! I’m a woman who knows her worth and won’t settle for anything less! To my sistahs out there, I encourage you to do the same.
Do not be afraid to walk and carry yourself as a woman worthy of more. Some men will leave but most men will respect you even more for demanding your respect. Believe it or not they are actually attracted to a confident woman who knows her worth. So, go. BE that confident woman and say NO to “Netflix and Chill!”
-Videllia Davis, A NEW ME Blog Contributor
Get ready to embrace “A NEW ME: Transparently, Abundantly.”
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