Real Time is NOT “FaceTime”

I'm so excited to introduce our A NEW ME Blog Contributor, Ellis Hubbard. Ellis reached out to me a few weeks ago with an interests to join the vision and mission of A NEW ME: Transparently, Abundantly. His passion speaks from the heart of a man to a man desiring to succeed as a husband in the family unit.

Wives, if your husband could use some tools to enhance your marriage, then you can anticipate some inspirational value from Ellis. Besides ladies, we can always learn to understand our husbands more from his point of view. Before we take a dive into his message take a peek into Ellis' life and passion:

Ellis Hubbard is a Personal and Relationship Coach who specializes in helping men to build better lives through focusing on Faith, Family and Fun. He brings his experience in coaching, personal development, ministry and marriage counseling to help clients shift from what struggles they are focusing on to the mental and spiritual mindsets needed to grow to their next level in life. Before becoming a personal coach, Ellis worked in Corporate America primarily in Sales, Marketing and Management where he was best known for his personal and career development work and passions. He is currently the Founder and CEO of Coaching Over Coffee, Inc. and Saturday Seminars, LLC.

Ellis lives in Houston, Texas, where you’ll find him building his professional and business lives with his wife of 21 years and hanging out with his 3 kids – 21, 18 and 17.

Real Time is NOT "FaceTime"

How to Bring True Communication Back to Your Marriage

The newest cell phone, app or social media site is all the rage seemingly daily around the world. Technology has not brought us closer, as the advertising of these products tell us; no, it’s quite the contrary. Technology, though, has been only a tool to give us more access. That access has given us tons of information, videos, snap chats, instant messages and the like but for us married folk, has it helped? Has having access to FaceTime as an app on our phones helped with the real time we need? Let’s explore that here briefly and then five (5) tips to bring to your marriage real “face time”.

How do you connect with your spouse every day? That’s a great question to ask at the end of each day. Have you connected with each other in a way that the other spouse felt the love? How do you know that? When is the last time you really “talked” to each other?

In truth, married life communication is all things - verbal, non-verbal and technological combined. Before the mobile phone, when your spouse left for work, you couldn’t call or text him/her to say “I forgot to tell you how much I love you honey”. Before social media, you had a hard time sharing photos of the last anniversary trip you two took with your friends, as it was happening. Technology in communication has permeated our society and, as a consequence, all our relationships. But how have all these “apps” and tools added or taken away the love from those relationships? The answer lies in the importance and ranking each of you place on the “hows” of your marriage communication tools.

As human beings, our default is always towards personal touch, feelings and the emotions only possible to feel in close quarters. But we live in 2016 and the lure of the tech can be too enticing and easy to use in place of that “close quarters”. So how do we make this technology useful for us as we navigate the waters of marriage?

Let’s first quickly summate what marriage and love is, why don’t we? Your “marriage” is the showcase for what creation and love looks like to the world and “love” is the environment your marriage creates, supports and then shares with the world.

With these definitions, we create a daily to-do list for your marriage with five (5) tips to bring true “face time” into your relationships (with or without gadgets):

1. Begin your day Face to Face – give each other a long gaze, a smile and a kiss to kick start your days

2. Sprinkle “I’m Checking in on You” texts throughout your work day to each other – these simple little interruptions will be expected and cherished pretty quickly by both of you

3. After work – call, don’t text, each other on your way home – your spouse needs to feel your emotion in your voice to reconnect after a long work day

4. No social media during “debriefing” – when you get home and want to talk about the day, all technology needs to be put away; your spouse deserves your undivided attention

5. End your day Face to Face – give each other a long gaze, a smile and a kiss to end your days

Technology has changed the world in many ways, communications being a small part of them, but in marriage the only true technology is the original one – human to human, man to woman, spouse to spouse physical and personal contact. That’s what love in marriage and having real FaceTime means.

-Ellis Hubbard, A NEW ME Blog Contributor

For information on connecting with Ellis Hubbard, his “Happy Husbands” seminars and/or a free initial coaching consultation, please email him at

Get ready to embrace “A NEW ME: Transparently, Abundantly.”

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